week two.

The pain I have from the missing tooth today, is minor compared to the toothache I have been dealing with. Relief is such a beautiful thing, no matter what kind of pain or struggle it is. From a miniscule toothache, to the big stuff. The things in life you don't want to deal with, praise God for relief. Relief for me came when I made a decision to do what I am doing now. I had lost a job a month or two before, and I didn't know what to do with myself. To me looking for a job is worse than getting a tooth pulled. Because I know no matter what it is, it will not b what I am looking for, or what I have been called to. I am specifically talking about the corporate world. After many interviews and applications, and much praying, I found relief. I found solace in the fact that my only option was to follow God and do something different than what I have been doing. I had struggled with the call to ministry, It hasn't always been so concrete that this is what I was supposed to do. Especially after knowing that call as a sophomore in high school, and then waiting, for 12 years, all the while standing outside that door waiting for the opportunity. It is hard to believe you are supposed to be doing something when you try and fail at it so many times. And you keep waiting for the door to open, because you know that God can open doors that no man can open, and shut doors that no man can shut. Trusting in His will and His time is a difficult thing, but when we trust in our own, or “pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and put our nose to the grindstone” and any other get to work metaphore you can think of, we look at God and say, “I don't need you, I can do this myself.” I was so tired of doing that. It wasn't working for me. I couldn't pick myself high enough to do any good. Then comes relief, the rest in the knowledge that I didn't have to. I just need Jesus, that is all. I am not writing this as an excuse to be lazy. I am not writing this with the attitude that anyone who works in the corporate world is an idiot. I am writing this with the attitude that God is the Author and Finisher of our lives. He writes the story and he sees it through. And we, we just mess it up every once in a while when we get in the way.